Anyway, I'm just writing that to get away from the thoughts in my head. Nothing new, nothing different, just the same psychological Machiavellianism showing it's head in my life again. I don't know if it's cause I'm still hurt about everything, or my mind is so used to the conflict and shit in my head that I create these problems when in reality there is nothing wrong at all. I wake up every night at 3 AM, whether you're sleeping next to me or not, like clockwork, I don't know what it is. My anxiety just wakes me up at that time because a lot of bad that's ever happened to me has happened around that time. Time goes by fast when you're trying to go back to sleep but can't quite get there.
I can't write, I can't really create, these days pictures are the only thing I feel that can convey anything in my head, whether its a sense of longing for something more or just the way a bird flies from darkness into the light. I have nothing, no words, too many thoughts, and not enough energy to do much else.
I see a darkness.
Until next time.