I'm lying here in bed with my eyes fixed on the screen watching this curser blink and blink. Life is good some days and bad the next. I don't know where I'm going, where I'm staying, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, who I'm feeling.
I'm a complete wreck on the inside, but I'm totally sane on the outside...well, hardly. I'm tired and lonely. And I start to feel weak at the thought of feeling this way forever, even if I'm in someones company. I'm afraid I'll lose my self in someone else. I don't see why anyone would want to give me the time of day and I secretly wish they would. I'll never be a permanent part of someones life, because I never really want to be. I'm like a tumor, if you don't get rid of me...I'll do it for you.
The closer we get, the further I feel. I can't trust anyone. I can't trust my self not to mess things up for my self.
I'm just going to prepare for the inevitable.
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