Ambitions

It's been a while. I suppose now's a good time to do a recap on the year.

I can't believe 2011 is gone. Years go by fast for me now but the days go by particularly slow. It's crazy to think that I'm almost 24...almost. There's still time to do something drastic.

I got a lot done in 2011; particularly with my outlets and stress relievers. Musically I have grown and physically I'm in the best shape I have ever been in (still not where I want to be) my life. It's hard to pin point my accomplishments this year and what I've got done but it's been a lot.

COG released our split LP with Seven Sisters Of Sleep and I think it's done us well. COG has released one release per year since we've been a band and hopefully it stays that way. We aren't exactly a song writing or touring machine but that's kind of what I wanted to avoid. I never want to force creativity and I never want to hinder the true emotion that goes into playing the music (touring). I want every show to be unique in its own way and I want to feel honest every time we play the music. I honestly cannot see us ever touring on a large scale but I'm not completely against it. I'm content with playing one off shows every now and then and focusing on writing music we're all happy with.

I have jumped into cycling head first. I recently finished my first century (100 mile ride) and in a really good time. It helps having very fit friends to push you and inspire you. I have put in a ton of miles this year (4000+) and I can't get over how much it hurts/how good it feels when I ride my bike. I bit the bullet and invested in a new bike this year and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. If I keep up with my ride averages or if I get faster I might start to gain enough confidence to ride in a race or something. A triathlon is still my main goal but cycling is just that, it's cycling...as fast as you can for about 2-3 hours and feeling that lactate build up in your legs and asking your self "what the fuck do I do to my self?" every 30 minutes. If you aren't suffering...you aren't cycling, you're just riding your bike.

I got to see a lot of fucking cool bands this year and had a lot of amazing musical inspirations click in my head. I also got to see (and touch) Morrissey again which has always been a pleasure. Seeing Neurosis twice this year was one of the coolest things I have ever gotten to do. I saw Scott Kelly play in this small little bar in Long Beach about a month ago and that definitely got my urge to release some sort of "solo" stuff soon...I've just been too busy. I got to play with my friends bands more notably Brave Young and I finally made a trip out there to see them...I love those guys with all my heart.

I also went through a few of the toughest points in my life so far (it only gets worse) with losing loved ones and almost losing my self. Every day is a struggle but somehow some way I find the strength to wake up at ungodly hours and keep pushing.

I try to appreciate all the times I don't feel like shit (I'm distracted) and try to hold on to them for as long as possible.

NEWS:
So on to this new year...with new years comes new aspirations, new disappointments, new obstacles, new victories and a lot more defeats but while I'm stuck on this greying rock what the hell else am I going to do?

COG will be getting a practice space very soon and that means we will be going into hibernation mode to finish writing our new record. If you've seen us lately we have been playing a couple of songs that will be on this new record and they are very...different but it is all part of the evolution. We will be incorporating visuals into our shows after this record comes out. These are all part of an experience that I want people to walk away with, I want people to be upset that they have to sit through our set or I want them to "get" what we're doing and enjoy everything that we're doing. I think this band will be a whole new monster after this year and it can only get better in my eyes as a search for more in depth self reflection just brings songs out of us...I just want honest art now and these days it's hard to come in contact with that.

I want to write more this year...hopefully time lends itself to me...or rather creativity allows me to accomplish this.

I'm done.

I'll try not to be a stranger...